What a fucking week! I had to go down to Reading, Berkshire, for work on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Is there a competition for arsehole of the Earth? If there is then Reading is a hot contender - what a sad town.

So, after a 4am start to get the red-eye and a full day’s work I headed to my hotel - the brand new Novotel in Reading town centre.

After waiting 20 minutes to check in the, very beautiful, Polish lassie on reception asked me if I wanted a smoking room - hell yes! Up to my room - no fucking ashtray - back to reception - sorry that’s not a smoking room - OK can you give me a smoking room? Sorry they’re all taken - WHAT??

So stuck in a non-smoking room, but at least you can still smoke in the bar in England (but not for long) - possibly the only attraction of going to England for me!

Down to dinner…Menu full of Arty Farty pish! Oh wait, “Traditional Favourites”, that’ll do me - Fish & Chips please. When it arrives it’s a bit of over-cooked SMOKED haddock about 3”x3” with 6 chips stacked Jenga style - I fucking HATE smoked fish. I asked the waiter why they thought this was “traditional” but as he came from another Eastern European country he didn’t have a clue (don’t think he understood a word I said to be honest). Oh well there’s a Burger King across the road.

Off to bed with room service breakfast ordered for 7:30 to 7:45…
…6:45 hammering on the door, “Breakfast Sir” FUCK OFF! This one really didn’t speak English and looked a bit bemused when a bedraggled Scotsman shuffled to the door.

So glad to be back in civilisation and I hope I don’t have to go back for a while!

Well, more Politically Correct shite from the Grand Poobahs of Scottish society.

Apparently Head Teachers have issued a warning that kids who make “offensive” remarks about the English during the World Cup risk being suspended or expelled.

This is exactly the kind of rubbish that actually makes whatever problem there is worse.

The Scots and English have had a healthy, and mostly good natured, rivalry for centuries and have always pulled the piss out of each other. Sure there are arseholes in Scotland who take things too far but that applies in England too. During my time in London I was regularly called “Jock” and asked if we had TV up in the wilds. I gave as good as I got and we all had a laugh.

Recently an English friend’s son had an altercation with his flatmate and ended up with a punch in the face and called an “English twat”. The police got involved and the flatmate ended up being charged with racially aggravated assault which carries a much higher penalty than simple assault. Our friend’s son pleaded with the police not to do this but to no avail. This should never have been a police matter in the first place but to criminalise a young laddie with such a serious offence is not only disgraceful but actually dilutes the message against real racism.

I’m not sure how this can be racism anyway - aren’t we both the same race? Is it racist if a Glaswegian calls and Aberdonian a “sheepshagger”? It happens every day! And for your information lads, Aberdeenshire is cattle country.

So if you’re English and live in Scotland - suck it up and laugh, or go home.

Racism is a serious problem in all of the UK and this kind of ballocks does nothing to address the real problem.